Thomas Friedman is the Worst Writer. Ever.

Here is how his new column at the New York Times begins:

Today, I’ll talk about the Paris attacks, but before I do I want to share two news stories here, in case you missed them: The first calf to come from a cloned camel was born at a research center in Dubai and a local taxi start-up is taking on Uber in the Arab world.

You may think that these emirates start-ups — cloning camels and cabs — have nothing to do with Paris, but they do. Bear with me.